that "human nature" often startles, throws me off balance, shames and ultimately deeply saddens me.
There are times that I feel I must be seedling from another planet - so "disconnected" from the people whose energy I am so "connect" with - the energy that connects us all - that energetic connection that makes our experience one.
While I am pleasantly surprised, in awe, moved even, by the odd individual that enters my "life space" as a gentle whisper of exquisite, natural, oozing kindness and gracious mannerisms genuinely soothing my slowly germinating sharp spines, which, have began erupting all over my soft and sensitive thin skin...
Why? I ask - most are like Rambos in an ever denser jungle full of pitfalls, booby traps, rattling bones, smoke and mirrors - surprises at every, ever increasing rapid breath... those, whom trespass and with transgressions erode trust gifted to them; those, that fail to see and acknowledge, those whom dismiss having to take responsibility for their actions... those, whom hide behind circular words, weaving never-ending sticky, entrapping webs... those, whose lies flow like an open faucet on a thirsty day... you know, those!
Why are those not responding when spoken to... particularly, to the written word?
Those, the ones that only find you when they need something from you... ?
Those, the world is full of those!!!
Hm... and then, there are the ones with the "holy-lovie-dovie" hollow word mantras, prayers and affirmations whose self-centeredness is only surpassed by sociopaths. A dangerous bunch, indeed - they come in full disguise, bringing good news, bringing "light and hope" to miserable lives... to the "indigent of mind and soul", preaching of goodness and charity, donations, "giving back" and, fellowman - community, of ancient fallacious myths... as they fail to fleetingly glance at the one sitting next them...
As they overlook/ignore the alone one. As they smile while their actions fail to support the neurosis of the facial mask... As they mimic wisdom, clear sight... insight!
Yes, they, are "those". One and the same. No conscience. What for? Why? They lost it in their loving reality-delusion.
Fortunately, just when I am about to be completely ravaged by the savagery of these seemingly innocent daily interactions, someone, somehow, says or does something - as in an attempt to vanish and banish it all - in gestures that appears increasingly protective...
As if with thick, soft cloaks of universal, enveloping collective distilled to essence loving/light energy - sweeping me, into another-parallel reality...
PS.:
Lately, I often feel "dark" forces battling for supremacy and, concluded that I must share my experience and observations, the feel of these energies gently stroking or sharply burning my skin.
I realized while I was painting "Intermezzo Giocoso" that all other previous "squiggle" watercolor paintings - which were also just as spontaneous, but not deliberate - were a "translation" of the energies I felt at the time of execution... all I knew/understood then was they were "life metaphors".
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