SAY WHAT YOU FEEL
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY
It has been "a cultural tradition" to respond on "auto pilot" when we are asked: How are you?
We would most likely respond with a polite Fine, thank you... in the 50's and 70's, up until the early 80's. But I noticed that in the last couple of decades we have advanced to Great! Fabulous!
The richer the term, the most likely to be less accurate in reflecting our true state of "being"...
This, in the long term brings about feelings of loneliness, isolation and abandonment - even if not clearly identified. We have - in general - disengaged from one another, from our community. Hey..., even ourselves!
Next time someone asks How are you?
Let's respond honestly, briefly.
I am wonderful - if that is true - thank you for asking.
I'm not having such a good day - if that is so - thank you for asking...
No need for lengthy and elaborate explanations, "secret divulging". Just share simple, truthful facts.
If the other person cares, or shows further interest, will ask us to elaborate. (Or, they might be shy, self-absorbed, intellectually or emotionally unavailable, simply distracted or uncomfortable with our response - which is NOT our problem, and no - we are not imposing or self-destructing by "revealing" our truth - Or, who knows what else occupies another person's mind and soul ... ?)
Maybe in time (when and if) trust develops, we may open up more, always at our (truthful) comfort level.
When we return (always) the courtesy by asking How are you? Let's mean it!
Let's be prepared to share a few minutes of our time with the other person.
This is a very simple and basic step to take care of ourselves - our needs of expression - and that of others. With repeating this pleasant interaction - slowly creating warm acquaintances and even stronger friendship and family bonds.
©2006 Alicia Ballard
2 comments:
Hmmmm....depends who's asking. If my mother or sisters ask I'm ALWAYS 100% great.
Some other people I might be more honest.
Anyway, about stat counters. You don't get one with Blogger by default. You have to go get one and install it. (You can see mine at the bottom of my blog). VERY easy! I recommend:
http://www.statcounter.com/
They are FREE, reliable, and tell you a LOT about the people who visit your site.
Be cautious of a lot of free counters 'cos they'll only really tell you the number of hits. This company gives much more. All you'll have to do is select and copy a bit of code they give you into your blog template. Both the company and Blogger tell you where and how. The information you get from a good counter is fascinating, - but addictive!
Thanks Rusty Pearl. I will definitely go for it.
Happy Easter to you and all!
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